Preface: A lot of life (and loss thereof) has happened since my last post.
So yesterday, I dragged my 8yo daughter to Costco, because I knew our budget restraints would not allow for another trip for a while. I typically try to grocery shop in the small windows of time that I have without her, to spare her, but this one was not avoidable. She HATES shopping with a passion, and I sadly miscalculated that it would be "prime free sample time", so she was feeling restless.
We made it through the store, and as we approached checkout, she asked if she could sit on the display furniture nearby while I checked out. I said fine, but that she should stay where she could see me. The cashier said "Don't you mean 'stay where you can see her'?" and I said "I find it much more effective if you tell a child to stay where they can see you, because kids automatically assume that you have eyes in the back of your head." She laughed and we carried on with our transaction.
Two minutes pass as I'm checking out, and she is right behind me (10 feet maybe?), feigning sleep, curled up on a really cool but not in my budget piece of outdoor furniture. A woman approaches the cashier, little baby in a sling, and says "Ma'am, I don't want to alarm you but there is a little girl over there and I don't see a parent anywhere nearby". I interrupted her and said "Yeah, she's mine. I know where she is." She stuttered and walked away.
I did have a talk with my daughter, because danger is out there, but she shouldn't invite it by playing like she's asleep. She also got a talk about not inviting CPS investigations. (She has been sorely disappointed that even though she's 8 now, I don't let her wait in the car very often, even though it's legal at her age in our state.) A lot of people mistake fear for safety.
To be honest, I still have a touch of it myself. I don't know what people do on the land behind ours. I didn't grow up here, but I still like it here. We have the land owner's permission, but others are using it without consent. I still want her to explore though, so we introduced walkie-talkies to the equation, and avoid hunting seasons.
Raising confident kids who are not controlled by fear is a pretty tall order these days.
